April Moves On
by Bloomyt
Summary: Picks up after Matt the paramedic asks April out. Goes through the date and how Jackson finds out about... Jackson's jealousy in realizing how wrong things went between he and April. This is my first story, so please give me any constructive reviews you can :) Mostly about Japril I don't own any of these characters... Just my take on what I think happens next.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own any of these characters - hope you enjoy!**

April was flustered. This amazingly cute guy was standing next to her... and his speech that led to him asking her out was... well, something that sounded as crazy as something she would say.

She looked at Edwards who was sitting behind the desk, grinning at April. Edwards had given her a little nod as to give April the push she needed to answer Matt's question.

"Well, I have about an hour left on my shift. There is bar, Joe's, that is just across the way. Would you be interested in meeting me at about 8pm for a drink?" April was sure she was blushing... and for that matter was quite sure here entire chest was beat red.

"That sounds great." Matt responded. "Looking forward to it Dr. Kepner."

"April. You can call me April."

"See you at 8. April."

As Matt turned to leave, April again looked at Edwards who was pretending not to notice how excited April looked.

"Edwards. Finish up these charts, go get changed and meet me here at 7:50."

Stephanie looked at April, puzzled. "Dr. Kepner? Um, don't you have a date?"

"Yes, I do... but I am not going alone. You are coming with me," April told the intern.

"Wha...? Edwards was completely confused... "Why me?"

"Because, you are here and you get off in a few minutes. See you at 7:50pm, sharp."

April finished her post ops for the day and handed off all of her cases to the overnight attending. It was a long day and she was exhausted... but excited at the same time. She couldn't believe she was meeting a really hot paramedic for drinks at Joe's. He was guy in uniform kind of hot. The man who came and rescued a girl in trouble. Not that she needed rescuing, but his invite to go out could not have come at a better time. She had been so depressed since the whole debacle with Jackson. One minute, they were getting married... the next he had called the whole thing off. She had next to no experience in the relationship department. She was sure she said and did all of the wrong things during her fling with Jackson, but she really didn't know how she was supposed to act around him. He knew her, inside and out. So any display of calm and coolness she would try to put on for a guy went out the window. Jackson knew there was nothing calm or cool about her. She was just herself. And that's probably why he eventually got tired of her and walked away. But Matt. Matt knew absolutely nothing about her. She could be anyone with him. She knew it probably wouldn't go anywhere. But a couple of dates with Matt could be just the thing she needs to get herself out of her Jackson funk.

As she was getting dressed, it dawned on her. Shit. Stephanie is sleeping with Jackson. And I just invited her to have drinks. What if she tells Jackson about this? What if she does,? she thought to herself. Who cares. Stephanie seemed nice enough and as April thought about it, she hoped Stephanie did pass along the word to Jackson. So he could see that she was moving on too. Yeah - this could work out really well. Get out of her funk and show Jackson that he isn't the only man on the planet who would want to be with April.

She looked herself over in the mirror in the attendings lounge and was satisfied. She was having a good hair day and she had to admit it, she looked hot in her skinny jeans. Her appetite had been non existent since Jackson so she had lost a couple of pounds. She put on a pair of boots with a heel and was ready to go.

"Where are you off to?" Leah asked Stephanie as the two changed in the locker room.

"Drinks with Kepner?" Stephanie replied... uncertain about the whole situation.

"Huh? Drinks with Kepner? Aren't you screwing her ex? Why would she want to have drinks with you?" Leah retorted.

"I was on her service today, and actually, she was really great. It was at first, but once we got busy with trauma cases, she was extremely patient and helpful. But there was this paramedic that clearly was into her. On his third swing through the ER he finally asked her out. Kepner doesn't want to go alone, so she ordered me to meet her in a couple of minutes to go meet the guy."

"Wow..." was all Leah could say.

"Yeah... should be interesting. But I couldn't say no... well, she didn't really give me a choice.. But Leah, this paramedic... he was hot. I mean, smoking hot."

"What do you think McDreamy Eye is going to think about you being a wing woman to his ex?"

"No idea. Jackson is great - but we don't spend a lot of time talking."

"Well, let me know how it goes. I'm off in a couple of hours. Page me if you need rescued." and with that Leah left.

On her way to meet April, Stephanie's pager went off. She knew the number and the 911 code meant it was an urgent booty call from Jackson. She texted him back. "Can't. Having drinks at Joe's with Kepner. Catch you later." As she she hit send, she wondered if maybe she should stay out of this. Well, she was already in this... but maybe she should just keep what happens with Matt and April to herself. She didn't have dreams of marrying Jackson or falling in love. But he was hot... and good in bed... and she was having fun. Don't want to ruin a good thing by making him jealous about April. Yup. "Just keep this to yourself Edwards."

"Whaat?!" Jackson thought to himself. What in the world was Stephanie doing having drinks with April. That was just a recipe for disaster as far as he was concerned. He knew April was upset about his hook ups with Stephanie. And he knew Stephanie was on April's service all day. He thought the day maybe tense for both of them. Stephanie, of course didn't know the whole situation with with April. He never talked to her about it, so he wasn't sure what, if anything she knew about his relationship with April. Maybe she didn't know any of it? Who knows. But April knew. And he couldn't fathom in his wildest dreams why April would be having drinks with the woman he was hooking up with.

This can't be good. It just can't. He figured they were going to Joe's. Should he go check up on them? Should he just stay out of it? He didn't have a clue. He had no idea. He needed someone else's opinion. Just then he saw Karev.

"Karev, I got a problem." Jackson dropped his charts at the nurses desk next to Alex.

"Let me guess... April and Stephanie are at Joe's right now. And you haven't got a freakin clue why." Alex retorted.

Jackson was stunned. "How the hell did you know?"

"Stephanie told Leah, who told Jo, who told me. You know how this hospital is. Oh, and by the way... Man are you screwed." Alex said with a chuckle.

"Tell me about it. Hey, what are you doing? Are you off yet?" Jackson asked him.

"Yup, after I check in with this mom," Alex said motioning the woman in the room behind them.

"Wanna go to Joe's?" Jackson asked.

"Your going over there?"

"I have too. I was with April when she went all Ohio farm girl on that a-hole at the boards. She throws a mean punch. I have no idea what is going on and I don't want to be the subject of tomorrow's water cooler chatter tomorrow. I have to stop whatever is going on over there." Jackson replied.

Alex raised his eyebrows in disbelief. "Ok. Well, I can't let you go over there alone. And quite frankly, I want to see Kepner's Ohio farm girl shtick." Meet you in 5 in the attendings lounge?"

"Sounds good." I think... Jackson thought to himself.

Joe's was hopping tonight. It was the first day in weeks where the thermostat got passed freezing and it seemed everyone was out. April and Stephanie found seats at the bar, and ordered their drinks.

"Dr. Kepner, you look nervous." Stephanie told her. "Just relax. You are just meeting a guy for a drink. Not a big deal."

"Not a big deal for you maybe. But, for me..." April trailed off.

Stephanie knew April well. Well, not April per se, but she knew a lot of Aprils in med school. Girls who were so wrapped up in their studies that they had no social life. They buried their heads in the medical books, trying to get a leg up on everyone else. But in the meantime they missed out on an important part of their lives. They ended up clueless about guys. While everyone else their age was learning how to have relationships, they were holed up in the gross anatomy lab trying to cram for the next test.

"Listen," Stephanie began. "Matt seemed pretty nervous when he got up the nerve to ask you out. So you aren't alone. Just go along with it. Have fun. Your beautiful and he is hot. It will be great."

"You're right Edwards. I am a soldier," April repeated to herself. "I am a soldier and I can do this. I save lives everyday. I am capable of a little small talk with a paramedic."

"Here is a shot." Stephanie passed it over to April. " Just do it. Liquid courage. It will help you calm down... take the edge off."

April slammed the shot and chased it with her cocktail. Just as she put the drink down, in walked a group of the hottest men she had ever seen. It was like a who's who of a men in uniform calendar. Apparently Matt didn't want to come alone either.

"Wow. April... seriously. Those guys are just... "

"I know... Wow." April gulped the rest of her drink and ordered another when Matt started making his way towards the bar. One of his buddies came to the bar with him and sat down next to Stephanie while Matt grabbed the stool next to April.

"Hi ladies," Matt said. "I almost didn't recognize you without the white lab coats. April and Dr. Edwards, this is my friend Noah from our station."

"Nice to see you." April said. "Actually, you look familiar. I'm sure we must have met before in the ER."

The four continued to make small talk as Matt and Noah ordered their drinks. April was having a great time talking to him. He was a bit shy, and she liked that. It made her feel more confident in a weird way.

Over the next half an hour, Joe's crowd was turning over. The happy hour folks were leaving, being replaced by hospital staff who had just finished out their day. Leah and Jo walked in giggling. Stephanie knew they were there to check in on her, which she appreciated, but thought was totally unnecessary. They came over, ordered drinks and started chatting with Stephanie.

"So Karev and Avery aren't here yet? Jo asked while taking a sip of her beer.

"Why would they be here?" Stephanie wanted to know.

"I just talked to Karev. We were going to grab a bite to eat but he called saying he and Dr. Avery were going to stop here and asked if I wanted to join them."

"Oh no.. this can't be good." Stephanie said, holding her head in her hands.

"Yeah - I thought you coming over here with Kepner was weird... but now Dr. Avery is going to be here too?" Leah thought out loud. "Maybe we should get out of here?"

"Too late" Jo chimed in. "They just walked in."

April was having a great time. And even better, she thought Matt was too. He was sweet, nice and well, hot. He was easy to talk to and he seemed interested in what she had to say. They both seemed nervous... but good nervous. The kind of nervous that tells you this could be the start of something really special.

They had been talking for about a half hour when April realized she hadn't thought of Jackson for the past hour. In fact - she had completely forgotten about him. If she were honest with herself, she would admit that she thought about him all of the time. Today had been really hard for her. Edwards was nice enough... but knowing that Jackson had rebounded so quickly after putting himself all in on their relationship made April incredibly sad. She thought they had something special. And his fling with Stephanie made her feel like just another notch on his bed post.

But Matt... his eyes, his smile... they just melted her into a puddle of happiness. He was the guy she always imagined herself with. Tall, good looking, kind, and just an all around good guy... well as far as she could tell in 30 minutes he was a good guy. She found out he was from the midwest too, had grown up the son of a police officer and secretary, was the youngest of three boys and had come to Seattle after landing his job at the fire department. His brother was also in Seattle, a firefighter for the same division Matt was in. He had helped Matt get the job.

April had completely forgotten about Stephanie, but when she glanced over her shoulder she could see she was talking to a few of the other interns. She turned her attention back to Matt. Asking him more questions about this life and answering more about hers. It was going so well, April pinched herself to make sure it wasn't a dream.

They decided to move over to a table and order some food. They had just started looking at their menus when April heard a familiar voice. No. It couldn't be. Please no... she thought to herself. This night was going so well... It was Jackson, who along with Alex had made their way over to the interns. Great. Just... great.

Actually, April thought to herself. This was great. She wanted Jackson to see her with another man. To see that she could move on. Maybe it would make him a little jealous. Maybe it would hurt him just a little bit.

Matt noticed April's expression had changed. "Everything ok?" he asked.

"Oh yeah. Fine!" April answered a little too cheerfully.

"What should we get to eat?"

As they neared the door to Joe's, Jackson stopped Alex.

"Wait a second. Why are we doing this? Lets just get out of here. I don't want to know what is going on in there. And if something is going on in there, Stephanie is a strong girl. She can take care of herself."

"Avery - don't be a chicken. You are dying to know what is going on there. Actually, I kind of am too. Ain't anything on tv that's going to compare to the drama that's probably going on there. Seriously... Cat fight... Not going to miss that. I'm going in... are you coming?"

Jackson shook his head. How in the world did this happen. He was 30 freaking years old. This was all so high school. He should just turn around and leave. Take himself out of the equation for the night. Alex was standing in front of him... holding the door to go into Joe's.

"Well, are you coming," Alex asked impatiently.

"Let's get this over with." Jackson said as he walked into Joe's.

Both men stopped and surveyed the bar. There were the interns at the bar... but April was no where to be seen. Jackson looked at Karev who just shrugged his shoulders and started walking to the bar. They joined Jo, Leah and Stephanie at the bar and order drinks.

"So ladies. What's shaking?" Karev asked before ordering a beer.

"Apparently, Kepner." Jo chuckled, pointing over towards the table April and Matt were sitting at.

"Who is that she is with?" Alex asked.

"Matt the hot paramedic," Stephanie responded. "He asked her out today at the ER. Poor guy is as nervous as any man I have ever seen. But he is really into Kepner."

Jackson looked over and saw April laughing. She had never looked more relaxed or confident... or sexy. The guy she was talking too was good looking. He didn't realize he was staring until April locked eyes with him. She glanced away quickly, turning her attention back to Matt the paramedic.

"Sorry I couldn't meet you earlier," Stephanie began. "But I'm glad you found me."

Jackson was completely distracted by April and her date that he completely missed what Stephanie said. He had to ask her to repeat herself as he tore his attention away from the cozy table in the corner.

"Sorry, it was a long day. I'm just really out of it." Jackson apologetically told Stephanie.

"No worries," she said as she looked seductively in his direction. She had a couple of drinks in her and Jackson was looking good in his hoodie and jeans. "But I'm free now. Want to get out of here and go somewhere else?"

"Actually, I just want to have a few beers here, unwind a little and head home. I have a full schedule of surgeries tomorrow and need to get some sleep." Jackson told her.

"Oh, Ok then... well, I think I'm going to head out then. You guys have fun. I will just catch you tomorrow."

Leah followed Stephanie as they headed for the door. Stephanie gave a little wave to April and thumbs up sign as she left. April smiled back and waved.

Jackson and Karev took the interns seats at the bar and ordered another round.

"No booty call for you tonight?... hmmm someone must be a little jealous of the paramedic." Alex chided Jackson.

"No, who.. what are you talking about Alex. Just a long day. I got myself all worked up over what may or may not be happening over here... just to find out that everything is peachy keen. April and Stephanie are best buds and April's got a date. All's good in the world of Jackson Avery."

"Well, if I didn't know any better, I would say seeing April with that guy took a little wind out of your sails my friend."

Just as Alex finished his sentence, Jackson saw April head for the restrooms at Joe's. He didn't know what got into him, but before he knew it, he was following her. She was in the women's room when he got back to the hallway where the restrooms were. He leaned up against the wall next to the men's room, pretending to be waiting for his turn... waiting for April to come out. He had no idea what, if anything he wanted to say to her. But he just felt he needed to see her.

April was hoping Matt didn't notice that she was a little distracted during their meal. She couldn't help but look over at the bar to see what was transpiring between Jackson and Stephanie. She figured the Seattle West group had filled Jackson in on her date, but she couldn't tell if he was affected by the information. She caught his eyes a couple of times, looking over in her general direction, but couldn't read anything into it. She was really dreading seeing Stephanie and Jackson together, but when she did, she notice no sparks, no hand holding... nothing really. And she was pretty darn ecstatic when she saw Stephanie leave alone... Jackson still nursing a beer at the bar.

"April... keep your mind on your date!" She told herself. She needed to pull it together. They needed to get out of there if this date was going to end well.

"Matt, I have to use the restroom... but I am having such a great time. Do you want to come back to my place for a drink? Maybe we can watch a movie?"

"I would really like that." I'll pay the bill while you are in the restroom." Matt replied.

"Great...oh - and get some dessert to go, if you would't mind? Joe's has the best desserts. Anything is fine."

"One of every dessert they have. Got it." Matt smiled at April and she just about melted. He was perfect. Just perfect.

As she walked to the women't room she thought about the events of the day. If anyone would have told her this morning at 6am that she would be inviting Matt the hot paramedic back to her house for dessert and movie after an amazing dinner... she would have told them they were crazy.

It was going so well. But her mind kept going back to Jackson. His eyes, his smile. The way he took care of her through the last five years. He knew her so well.. or so she thought until he started sleeping with the intern. She had given him her virginity. She had always planned on giving that to her husband... or at the very least the man she was going to marry. As she looked in the mirror of the bathroom and touched up her make up, she lamented that she wasn't able to keep her promise to herself, or to Jesus. But, that ship had sailed. There wasn't anything she could do about it now. Re-virginizing was a possibility. But did it really matter now? She loved sex with Jackson. She loved Jackson. She knew it in her heart, even though it never came out of her mouth. No. What came out of her mouth was... well, lets face it, diarrhea of the mouth. She had a bad habit of talking without thinking. She had really been the one to push Jackson away. He was sweet, sensitive... he was everything and because of her idiosyncrasies, she has pushed him away. It was her fault he was having sex with someone else.

But, she thought to herself, she was nothing if she wasn't a good study. She would learn from her mistakes. She would be a better girlfriend this time around.. to Matt, or another guy if tonight didn't lead to another date. She knew she wasn't sleeping with Matt tonight... or maybe never. But she didn't know if she would have sex with another man before marriage. But she would definitely have to be in love. She knew what that felt like now, thanks to Jackson.

She gathered her bag and walked out the bathroom door. Right into Jackson.

"Jackson," she said completely startled by him standing in front of her. "What are you doing here?"

"Just waiting to use the men's room." he said.

"Oh, well, ok... have a good night." She started walking past him when he grabbed her arm.

"April..." he looked into her eyes as she turned around. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I know, it must have been hard for you today with Stephanie."

"No, Jackson.. not at all. She was great to work with. She's a little green in the ER, but she caught on really quickly. She is a great girl and I really like her."

Jackson turned toward her, letting go of her arm. April kept looking away from his gaze, clearly uncomfortable talking to him.

"So... you have a date?" Jackson inquired.

"Oh... yeah, Matt. He is a paramedic who had a couple of runs to the hospital today."

"You looked like you were having a good time with him." Jackson said as he moved a piece of April's hair off her shoulder.

April was a little taken aback by Jackson's gesture. The fact that Jackson had been noticing her with Matt made her a little excited. Jackson seemed to be a bit jealous.

"Yeah, he is a great guy... well, I've only known him for a couple of hours... but I like him."

"April..."

"Jackson... I have to go. Matt is waiting for me."

"April, don't go. Can we talk somewhere?"

"No, Jackson. I can't. We don't have anything to talk about. You've moved on... I am moving on. Its over. Just like you wanted it to be."

"I never wanted it to be over, April. You were the one that was so freaking happy we didn't have to get married."

"I was happy Jackson, because I thought we could just go on as we had been. We were having fun, I loved being with you... spending time with you. But when there was no baby... you bailed. You wanted it to be over."

"April, I... I..." Jackson knew what he wanted to say but didn't know how to say it, or how April would react. But he saw the way April and Matt were looking at each other. If he didn't say it now... he may lose his chance to be with her forever.

"April, I was still all in. Baby or no baby. I still wanted you... the white fence... the wedding in a field, the mints that said we were "mint to be." You just seemed to have no feelings about me. You said it yourself... you thought it was just sex. It had become so much more to me. When you gave your little speech about dodging a bullet... I just... I thought you didn't feel the same way I did. So I ended it."

April's eyes started to well up with tears. She didn't know what to say.. how to respond.

"Jackson... I had no idea... I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you or make you think I didn't care about you. You were... you were everything to me. But I guess I didn't realize that when I gave my virginity to you... that you would be the man I would want to marry. I didn't know that my best friend could turn out to be... my first love."

Jackson grabbed April's hands. He was beginning to tear up a bit too, hearing April's words.

"But Jackson..its too late. We have hurt each other too much. You... you moved on with Stephanie so quickly. It made what we had feel cheap. Like we didn't mean anything to each other."

"I couldn't stop thinking about you, April. And when we were at the wedding, and you were trying to push me away... I just.. I needed to get you out of my head. And Stephanie was there. She doesn't mean anything to me. Not the way you do."

"You knew how much have sex meant to me... and yet, you were willing to hop into bed with the first woman you had the opportunity to... to what? forget me? That makes no sense Jackson. I don't think I could ever understand that thinking. I don't think I could ever get over that."

"Please don't say that April." Jackson begged.

"Jackson - I've gotta go." April let go of Jackson's hands and started walking down the hallway. She stopped and looked back at him, catching his eyes one last time. "Bye Jackson".


	2. Chapter 2

April was nursing a drink at the bar. She had come to Joe's after yet another long day in which things just weren't working out for her.

Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital was in a crisis. She had been working with Dr Shepard to save the ER, only to find out it was a hopeless cause. And now that the ER had been shut down, she was in limbo. What use is a trauma surgeon at a hospital with out trauma cases. Word was that several rounds of layoffs were coming and she knew she would be at the top of the layoff list. She was a non-board certified trauma surgeon working at a hospital without an ER. Yeah - this wasn't going to end well for April and she knew it.

On the bright side, she and Matt had been getting closer. They had gone out on many fun dates and learned so much about each other. He was really a perfect match for her and she knew it. In her head, Matt made complete sense. On a pro/con list she could only come up with one con... he wasn't Jackson Avery.

She had kept her distance from Jackson since their last run in at Joe's. Well, except when she called him needing help to sneak a trauma case into Seattle Grace. She had been on paramedic runs to keep her trauma certification. They had a patient who was in dire need of a procedure that she knew only Dr. Shepard could pull off. But they had to stabilize the patient first in an ER before he would be ready for Shepard. She called Jackson to help break into the ER to give the man his best shot at a full recovery.

When it was all over, Jackson had really pulled through for her. Helping in anyway he could. She had thanked him afterwards. She really wanted to thank him in more than words but it was as if there was this invisible wall separating them. She just couldn't let ago of everything that happened... even though he really was the only man she wanted to be with.

As she started on her third drink...and she vowed... her last... Karev and a couple of the interns came in. They were ordering drinks when Alex spotted April. He came over and took the seat next to her.

"Seriously Kepner... Go find Avery and just jump him. You know that's what you want. He wants it too. He has been walking around the hospital with puppy dog eyes. I hate puppy dog eyes. Kepner, I don't know how you did it, but you managed to take away the Avery sparkle and turn him into a pound dog looking for a new home."

April sighed... "Karev... just go away. You don't know anything about anything. You are the LAST person to be giving dating advice, or really, any kind of advice... about anything."

"Listen Apes," Alex began.

"Do not call me Apes!" April countered.

"Whatever... the way I see it, you both have it bad for each other. Why waste time. Just wipe the slate clean. Start all over again. Ask him on a date. Just do something, anything. I can't take the two of you being so pathetic."

"Thanks for the great advice." April motioned to him, "Now please, go join your groupie fan club of interns and leave me alone."

"Whatever Apes." Alex walked away. She was tempted to throw her glass at him but she didn't want to cause two bar brawls in one year.

"One more please." April was about to throw out her three drink limit and go for number four when her cell phone beeped. She had a text.

"Hey sunshine, I just got off work. Crazy night. Want to meet up? Where are you?"

It was from Matt.

Ugh... April thought to herself. She had committed to getting drunk alone. She didn't know if she was up for company. Matt was awesome. Perfect. But she really did just want to wallow alone for a night. But the people pleaser in April wouldn't allow her to lie about her whereabouts or to make up a story that she was at work.

"At Joe's. Long day too. Join me for a drink?" She texted back.

"Be there in ten." Was Matt's reply.

She had a big jump on drinks so she decided to slow down and switch to a club soda for a bit so she didn't turn into the weepy drunk she knew she would be if she kept drinking at her current pace.

"What is wrong with you Kepner?" she thought silently to herself. Matt is hot, he is caring, considerate, and he likes her. Her! April Kepner... the girl who could scare away any man within minutes of speaking to him. He is perfect. Why is she wasting her time pining over Jackson. He was still carrying on his little fling with Stephanie, despite his telling her it meant nothing. Well... he can keep having meaningless sex. She had Matt. And since she had re-virginized again, the next man she was going to have sex with was indeed going to be her husband.

She and Matt spent over two hours at Joe's, laughing, talking and having a really good time. Both got pretty drunk and decided to call a cab back to April's because it was closer. Matt had spent the night with April a couple of times after dates. They had done nothing but kiss. She had not shared her revirginzing plan with him - but he was very respectful of her. He never pushed her to do anything more than kiss... seemingly waiting for her to make the next move. She never did so she imagined that he would probably get tired soon and want more from her. April didn't know how far she was willing to go, but she knew she wasn't going to sleep with him. Well, maybe... if she knew he was the one... if they got engaged... if she could stop thinking about sex with Jackson.

They got back to April's apartment and she turned on the entry light. Before she had a chance to put her keys down or take off her coat, Matt had grabbed her by the waist and spun her around into his arms. They were kissing, softly at first, but Matt was more aggressive than he had been with her before. They took off their coats and he lead her over to the couch where they sat down. He quickly pushed April back so she was lying down and he put all of his weight on top of her. It felt good. It felt good to be wanted by another man. To be kissed and caressed. To be with Matt. She really did like him, if only she had met him before she fell for Jackson.

When Matt moved away to start kissing her neck and stared pulling a bit at the buttons on her shirt, she started to get nervous. How far was she going to let this go? She really didn't know. She didn't want to lead him on, but didn't want to disappoint him either.

"Matt..." she said breathlessly. "Can we stop? We need to talk."

"What? What's wrong?" He continued kissing her neck.

"Matt, I... I need to talk to you about sex." Her buzz was wearing off and she was becoming more and more aware of exactly what Matt had on his mind.

He pulled himself off of her into a sitting position. She sat up beside him.

"Matt, I really, really like you. But, I have to be honest with you about how far... about, well, about sex." She was feeling really uncomfortable now. She had never had to have this conversation with anyone and didn't know how to broach the subject.

"April," Matt said softly... "April are you a virgin?"

"Yes, Um... No? ... I mean... yes?"

"Huh? You either are or you aren't. April, it doesn't matter to me but.."

"Matt, I made a promise to myself that I would be a virgin for the man I am going to marry. I broke that promise. I have only been with one man... but I really... I... I don't want to have sex again until I get married. I know it probably seems silly to you... but its important...

"April, no. I totally respect that. You should know, I have only been with two women. Both were my girlfriends and we dating a long time before we had sex. I get it April. Look, I'm sorry if I pushed the line tonight. I really like you too and I just want to be close to you."

"Wow," April thought to herself. Could this guy be anymore perfect?


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! Thanks so much for reading this story. I have never done anything like this before so I appreciate your kind words about the story. My plan is to follow loosely along with the current storyline on Grey's and just add in scenes and backstory that I think should happen.**

**I don't own the characters and am in awe of Shonda Rhimes, the woman who does. Thanks again for reading :)**

Ever since that night at Joe's, Jackson was in a funk. With everything happening at Seattle Grace and the situation with April... he was in a dark place. After that night, he pulled the plug on his fling with Stephanie. He came to the conclusion that he couldn't keep having meaningless sex with women. He needed to man up. Find someone to love, who loved him back and build a life together.

He missed April. And not just the sex, but her friendship. She was the one person in the world who probably knew him better than he knew himself. Sure she could be neurotic, controlling and of course, a Jesus freak. But she was his Jesus freak and life just wasn't the same with her.

After thinking endlessly about it, Jackson couldn't figure out why he kept falling for women who were emotionally unavailable. Lexie. He was really crazy about her, but he always knew in the back of his head that she really belonged to Mark. There had been a girl in undergrad who at the time he thought was the love of his life, but they were on completely different career paths. Hers had taken her to study overseas and his to medical school and Seattle. And of course, April. He had to admit it to himself. He had fallen in love with her. Maybe he had always loved her. They had been friends for so long, been through so much together. He was fine just being friends until the night before the board when she kissed him. That night changed Jackson. And when he thought she had left and was gone for good. He couldn't pick up the phone to talk to her. It would be too hard, he thought to himself. And then she showed up out of the blue in the attending lounge. His heart skipped a beat when he saw her. He didn't know when casual sex turned into something more. Not until the pregnancy scare. He was in. All in. Until it occurred to him that April wasn't. She wasn't in at all. While he was sure April cared about him... their years of friendship had proved that... he wasn't sure she had that "mint to be" feeling that he had for her.

It didn't matter now. It was over. He had put it all on the line for her and she rejected him. Honestly, she might have done him a favor. It forced him to take a deep look at his relationships with women... women who weren't available to him. He had to figure out why this was his pattern and break it if he ever wanted to be happy.

Work had kept his mind off of his women problems. He had a number of interesting cases come his way and he was thankful for the distraction. He had started doing research on new synthetic skin that could help burn patients heal without scarring. In fact, Jackson was in the process of putting together a new trial to help save the lives of burn patients who ordinarily wouldn't stand a chance at survival. It had been a good move to put all of his energies into work. No more female drama for him.

He occasionally saw April. For the most part they didn't work together much and schedules being what they are, it just worked out that they often worked different shifts. As much as his work helped take away the hurt, it didn't fill the void entirely. He would find himself daydreaming about the house with the white picket fence, the wedding in the field... the baby that never was.

He had heard through Karev that April and that Matt guy were still dating. Jackson preferred not to think about it. If he were honest with himself, he would admit that he thought about whether or not April had slept with Matt. As stupid as it sounded, he liked that April had only been with him. And ironically, April and Edwards had actually become good friends. Jackson didn't understand it, but he had figured out a long time ago that there wasn't much he had understood about women.

As much as Jackson hated to admit it, he was in a holding pattern. Emotionally stuck. Until he figured out some things about himself he would remain stuck. Until he figured out why kept putting his heart on the line for women who didn't want him he was stuck. Single and stuck.


End file.
